Day 18
During this path working that began at Samhain, I welcomed silence into my life. At times it was difficult, but I am glad I gave myself the chance. I found that by offering myself the space that I needed to peel back my different layers, I was able to meet myself in a place with a gentle compassion rather than the harsh judgements I have placed upon myself before. Well, mostly. There is still learning going on there. That is also part of the path and one that I am gently working on.
Maybe part of this journey isn’t about ‘being’ anything on demand. We try to figure out what we are supposed to ‘be’ and for myself, that just blocked me from any real progress. What I did feel, left me agitated and more confused. With a deep breath, I offered myself the space to start over again. Somewhere deep within me, awaits the answers I am searching for. Allowing myself the time and space to discover them is an important part of the lesson.
The process of preparing for rebirth is amorphous. We are always changing and shifting below the surface. It takes time to form and grow. Before we can do that, understanding who we are will help us pull in what we need. One of my lessons this year was to allow the process to happen as it must. A deeper lesson was to do that without a pointed, scripted narrative or expectation to shape my results. Trusting the process while not knowing what it will look like can be scary and unnerving at times. But realizing that some aspects of life must unfold as they must helped to remind me of the bigger picture.
I have realized on a deeper level that this process will never end. It too is part of the mystery of life, death, reflection and rebirth. Each breath, each experience, adds to our story that we write every day. Giving myself the space and time that I need is an important lesson. These cycles that we are a part of are ongoing. That is something I hope I remember even in my darkest shadowy days.
May flow gently with the cycles of life, offering yourself what it is that you need.
Renee Bedard, The Whispering Crow
The Whispering Crow 