We all have parts of ourselves that we feel no one may understand. An experience, private reflection, a long lingering thought that is wrapped up in our minds and hearts yet will never see the light of day. They are pieces we keep hidden; shuttered and cast aside into our depths where they are left behind so we can “move on”. We do this so we can feel safe and protected from the trauma in which they were born from. Our lives are created with joy and sorrow, love and pain, laughter and tears. Yet, we are trained to cover our bruises, pick our chin up and carry on. As a result, our hurt, pain, and fear are shoved down a little deeper, numbing ourselves a little more each day. How can we begin to gently open the door to the pieces of our soul that we wanted to forget about? How can we begin to offer love to what we may feel is unlovable?
Our experiences are woven together by delicate threads connecting us to others in intricate patterns. Sometimes, wonderful things can happen and we can create something as beautiful and inspiring like a spider’s web. We are encouraged to explore the wonders of life before us and seek what they have to offer. Yet, when we are in difficult situations, we can feel entangled in something that we struggle with, desperately searching for an exit. The more we struggle, the harder it is to make our way to safety. As a result, we fall prey to the hungry spider. In life, if we are being honest, we are the web. We are the beauty and we are the severity of it. As we look to heal the pieces of ourselves that are tucked away in the dark, we seek to find a healthy balance in life, maybe even crave it. We can do this by healing what hurt, guilt, anger, and shame is within us and finding ways to create healthy and beneficial patterns to live by. But where do we begin?
It has been my experience that the best place to start is with myself. What is your story? What are the experiences, emotions, and thoughts that make you, you? Of course, we may think of what brings us joy and love first. These things are important and bring us comfort, connection, and security. However, if we only focus on those pieces of ourselves, we can create a fantasy world where we think everything is fine while we bury parts of ourselves that are calling out for gentle love and healing. I found that those are the pieces that may need us the most. By ignoring the uncomfortable parts of ourselves, we can create a harmful practice that skews our perception of reality and leaves us blind to what really happened in our lives. I feel that if we look at our difficult and traumatic experiences without judgement, guilt, and blame, we can create the space we need in order to trust ourselves with our emotions and begin to understand why we are the way we are. Once we start to tell our story with gentleness, kindness, and mercy, we allow the possibility to transform our darkness and pain and bring it into the light where we can discover the wisdom within us.
For this meditation on self-healing, I ask you to go deeper. What is your story? What are the things that you have been pushing away from your consciousness? What experiences stir up fear, anxiety, sorrow, or grief? What are the parts of you that have been tucked away or brushed aside because you were not ready to handle the intense emotions that came out of that experience? These questions are difficult. This process of healing is not easy and is often messy. When exploring pieces of your shadow self, just pick one experience at a time. Go slowly. Seek to know and understand it. Journal your thoughts and emotions about the situation. Feel all of your feelings without shame and do what you must do to work through them. When you are ready, take the next step.
In meditation, stand in a place of non judgement and unconditional love and welcome yourself to it. Vow to yourself that you will not place blame upon anyone during this exercise, including yourself. As you reflect, look with neutral eyes. Peel away the layers and look at the wound that was left. What do you feel? What do you see? What is being revealed to you? Take some time to sit with yourself to offer what you need in order to heal and grow from this experience. What lessons are to be learned? When you are ready, gently come back and give yourself the space and time you need to allow the healing to continue.
Over the next few weeks, we will explore the importance of knowing who we are and what our stories tell us. We will weave our way through shadow and light, discovering pieces of our truth along the way. With this journey, I hope to inspire you to find your voice, create your path, and embrace all chapters in your story with love, grace, and kindness. I hope you will join me.
Be well,
Renee Bedard ~ The Whispering Crow
The Whispering Crow 