When you see a beautiful, sweet smelling flower, do you pick it and bring it home or do you take in its beauty with all of your senses, imprinting it upon your heart? If you were a beautiful, sweet smelling flower, would you want to be picked or allowed to continue to grow and thrive where you are and upon the heart of another that was moved by you?
Our lives are both the human and the flower. We touch and we are touched. Sometimes our lives can change in subtle ways. Other times, we may be rocked to our core. We can be cognizant of our experiences and know the effects they have on us. However, some events are more complex and entangle us in many ways that we cannot comprehend at the time. These experiences send us along a path where they continue to ripple out, coloring our lives in the after affects. Through this process, we are shaped in a multitude of ways, both known and unknown. It may take years to unravel or even discover. I think it is important for us to look at them gently when they do come up. Something within us is ready to be discovered. Maybe you can see how you are that flower and experience its beauty as well as your own. Maybe your path has clouded that realization. Do you only bloom for others? Are you a flower that is always picked? If so, what do you do? Do you gather the strength to move forward and create healthy change or do you lay down upon the sacrificial table, allowing others, and yourself, to pick you out of the garden again and again?
I have talked a lot about healthy boundaries a lot over the years with clients and in my writing. As difficult as they can be to create in the beginning, we need to reenforce them with love and care throughout our lives because they are necessary. Boundaries are created so we can grow and thrive. They are rules that allow us to say no when we need to. It is how we show ourselves respect and require others to do the same. Having boundaries does not mean that we love others less. It allows a space for healthy and respectful relationships to flourish, including one with ourselves.
Boundaries also remind us that we do not have to constantly sacrifice pieces of ourselves for love to be in our lives. From such a young age, we are taught to be giving and selfless. When others are in need, we are to help. While I believe that helping and holding space for others is something we do on the path of service, it is also important to not give ourselves away in the process. That is not an act of service or sacrifice. Love, caring, and compassion are not supposed to hurt or stifle our own growth and prosperity. This path is not about stripping away our own essence, energy, or power for another. It is about loving ourselves as we love others. That is often forgotten about.
The path of service and spiritual growth is lined with so many experiences and lessons. We look to our gods in our own cosmology for insight and understanding. Each religion has a story with a sacrificial god that can help us find our way. The lessons they teach are invaluable and we can learn a lot from them. These gods have died and have been reborn. They live within us. Their sacrifice was made so we do not have die or be sacrificed continually for others. Losing our light and fire is not part of the plan. I feel that we are here to remember that can love and understand ourselves as we do with others. At Yule, the Child of Light is born. Within him holds the hope and promise that is freely given to us. His story is of ultimate sacrifice. Our story is about how we can take his lessons and create our part of paradise here upon the earth with our own gifts, talents, and acts of love. I am remembering that myself.
There is harmony in life. It is something that we can obtain with care and dedication in our work. We can look to nature to witness proof of that. Nature offers a bounty of life to us. Nature also has ways to protect itself. The rose is perfect example. A symbol of love and beauty, the rose transports us to a feeling like no other. The rose also has thorns, a protective boundary, to remind us of its Will to thrive. Maybe that is why we are so enamored with roses. There are always lessons to learn and lessons to teach. We all have boundaries to fortify and healthy relationships to explore. We touch and we are touched. This is the way of life. So, will you take in the beauty of the flower or pick it and bring it home?
Be well today and all your days.
Renee Bedard ~ The Whispering Crow
The Whispering Crow 