Look to your inner fire and call it up before you. Carefully burn away all that does not serve you – the anger, resentment, hatred, and fear. Allow the ashes to nurture and free you. Remember that some seeds can only break open when they are met with great heat and force, initiating a change you never thought was possible.
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Layers Through Time
This blog completes the recent series I have been posting for you. While the first two pieces, “Giving Voice”, and “For Those Who Have Gone Before Us”, offered the history of the Brattleboro Retreat Tower, this article documents my hike up to the top of the hill. It may seem out of sequence, but it felt right this way. I hope it inspires you to explore your local history. Hopefully, we can dispel the fiction from reality to heal the scars that stretch across our communities together.
Read MoreFor Those Who Have Gone Before Us
I recently visited the Brattleboro Retreat Tower. It is a place that holds a long history and such a presence. While it was intended to be a groundbreaking facility, and it certainly was in many respects, there are chapters in its past that range from disturbing to heartbreaking, just like all psychiatric facilities of their time. I wanted to take a moment and offer the history of the location for a few reasons. First, this hospital continues to treat patients today. There is a stigma with mental illness and I do not want to sully the good work and compassionate care that The Retreat offers today. Secondly, to overcome the horrors of the past, we must look at what was true and weed out what is false. Rumors run rampant in places like these.
Read MoreBetween the Darkest Depths and Sunniest Skies
Over the last few months, I have been feeling a push and a pull within me. For a time, I am offered space to feel the sun upon my face and the ocean’s spray upon my skin. Joy and excitement flow through me as long held dreams materialize before my eyes. It is like I am living a dream come true. I feel weightless and free. Everything within me rises to the surface to mingle with the sea and sky as my dreams take flight. It is beautiful and surreal all rolled into one gift that has no strings attached. As I smile with my eyes closed and face to the sun, the ocean waves consume me, dragging me down into the ocean’s dark depths. I am instantly carried down below my own waterline. Into the darkness I go; acceptance and silence my only guide.
Read MoreLayers of Lifetimes
There are moments when we dream of far-off places and of a time that has been long forgotten. Hazy pictures within our minds are painted. They create landscapes, uncover memories, and perhaps even pieces of ourselves are revealed as the mist dissipates. The fuzzy images become clearer as we emerge from the shadows, gathering strength through understanding. For some, this is the work of our journey. This is the work of our soul. This is the work of connecting the dots between our longing and with our unexpected de-ja-vu experiences. When we take the time to listen to what our body is telling us, what our soul is craving, we can give ourselves permission to take the step forward to feed ourselves with what we need. However, this can only happen if we choose to walk into the unknown and into that strange place of liminality between today, yesterday, and tomorrow. Like frosted breath on a window pane, we touch the boundaries between ourselves and what is calling to us.
Read MoreInto the Liminal ~ Part Two Opening the Gate to the Time Between
From the mist she rises in the cold light before dawn. Strange shapes and shadows move but what do you really see? There are whispers from tree line, but can it just be the wind? Taking a breath, you close your eyes to clear your mind, hoping to understand what you see when you open them again. When you do, the whispers and shadows seem closer as the mist creeps around you now. The sound of water rushing by echoes in your ears. Does it make you feel unsteady? Does your heart race? Does your breath quicken? Are you feeling the chill in the air or is it a deep, unknown, and primal memory gripping you now? As the Cailleach stands before you, what do you feel as you both look beyond each other’s eyes and into the depths of forever? The Gate of the Time Between is now open and without realizing, you have already begun to walk through it.
Read MoreInto the Liminal ~ Part One The Time of Light and Shadow
When the children’s echoing laughter through the streets on Halloween fall silent, a presence rises along the edges. The wind blows a little longer and colder. The golden light hangs lower now, casting strange shadows where curious shapes are conjured only to quickly disappear. There was a shift that took place while we were not looking. It was a shift that now pulls the sunlight low across the horizon and lulls the vibrant life around us to begin its long winter slumber. For the time has come for her to walk across the landscape once again, preparing us for the growing dark days and lingering cold nights. It is time to slip from what we think we know and travel into the liminal spaces once again. It is in these mysterious places, where we can open ourselves up for exploration and contemplation. In the borderlands, we can do the deep work in order to slough off the parts of us that weigh us down and open ourselves to release and healing. It is here, where we can dream. And if we choose to walk with her through these spaces, we may be granted glimpses of what can be, as long as we don’t fall prey to the illusions of shadows at play.
Read MoreTell Me A Story ~ Part Three
We are all searching for something. Every single one of us. Whether it is for connection and understanding, safety and comfort, or honest and true communion, we are all looking to find that place in our world where we feel safe enough to let our defenses down and finally exhale. We long for a haven where we can go when the weight of the world may be too much for us to handle. We may crave a place of comfort and love where we know we will not be judged for what we are feeling or the mistakes we’ve made. There is need within us to seek out a group or community that will welcome us for simply who we are. When we find a person, trusted council or community that will accept us for who we are, we feel welcomed and accepted. It is only natural to want to seek out others who can share in the joys and pleasures we have in life as well as help us understand what is going on when we are down. We are human. We are social beings. However, there is more to our healing journey than working on our outer connections. If we are to truly heal and get to the root of our patterns, we need to also take time by ourselves to reflect.
Read MoreTell Me A Story ~ Part Two
In the quiet of the night, have you ever felt your heavy heart reach out to you? When you hear someone passing by say a name or a phrase, does it propel you into a lost memory? When a familiar scent wraps around you, have your ever relived an experience? A song comes on the radio and you smile to yourself, remembering high school antics only to quickly change the station when the next song comes on so you don’t relive a painful memory?
Read MoreTell Me A Story ~ Part One
We all have parts of ourselves that we feel no one may understand. An experience, private reflection, a long lingering thought that is wrapped up in our minds and hearts yet will never see the light of day. They are pieces we keep hidden; shuttered and cast aside into our depths where they are left behind so we can “move on”. We do this so we can feel safe and protected from the trauma in which they were born from.
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The Whispering Crow 